I Believe, Help My Unbelief

Just like several people who came to Jesus, I am praying for a miracle. I feel particularly close to a father going to Jesus on behalf of his son.

Mark 9:20-27  They brought the boy to Him. When he saw Him, immediately the spirit threw him into a convulsion, and falling to the ground, he began rolling around and foaming at the mouth.  (21)  And He asked his father, "How long has this been happening to him?" And he said, "From childhood.  (22)  "It has often thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!"  (23)  And Jesus said to him, " 'If You can?' All things are possible to him who believes."  (24)  Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief."  (25)  When Jesus saw that a crowd was rapidly gathering, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You deaf and mute spirit, I command you, come out of him and do not enter him again."  (26)  After crying out and throwing him into terrible convulsions, it came out; and the boy became so much like a corpse that most of them said, "He is dead!"  (27)  But Jesus took him by the hand and raised him; and he got up.

I cannot imagine being this father. Even though my situation is difficult, my son is safe and warm in his current home inside Megan and his suffering will be limited. This father had to witness his son given over to violent convulsions for years being thrown often into fire and water in attempts to kill his son. I know the helpless feeling this father felt. It is my job to protect and provide for my son and I am unable to help him.

The specific lesson I keep reading into this story is that there are varying degrees of faith. The "if-you-can" doubt in the man's plea  is understandable. The father has been in this helpless situation for a long time. The disciples of Jesus had tried and failed to drive out the demon. All seemed hopeless, but he had not given up completely. He still has enough faith to ask Jesus for help. The last recorded words we have from the father is "I do believe; help my unbelief." Jesus then not only kicked out the unclean spirit, He completely heals the son from what appeared to be death. It was a complete and total healing to where the boy was standing up.

The words of Jesus are striking me today as they must have that father many years ago. Jesus (you know, the Son of God who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think) said "All things are possible to him who believes."  All things.

My previous blog posts were about three men whose prayers were answered with "no." While David and Paul were not perfect people, Jesus was and God still denied His prayer of "let this cup pass." God knows what is best for me. Perhaps a denial of my requests is exactly what I need. While these things are true, there is a strong connection between the level of faith and if prayers are answered.

Notice these verses from miracle stories:

Matthew 15:28  Then Jesus said to her, "O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed at once.

Mark 5:34  And He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction."

Acts 14:9-10  This man was listening to Paul as he spoke, who, when he had fixed his gaze on him and had seen that he had faith to be made well,  (10)  said with a loud voice, "Stand upright on your feet." And he leaped up and began to walk.

Joses' Hands

My emotions are everywhere. I am terrified because I have no idea how God is going to answer my prayer. To be honest, I feel like the doubting man spoken of in James 1:6-7. That man "ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord." The words "the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind" feels exactly like this emotional roller coaster I have been on. This brutally honest blog post was inspired by a sermon delivered two weeks ago by my brother-in-law Dathan Rader titled "We Need Faith." It is obvious in scripture that faith comes in varying degrees. I feel just like that father who said, "I do believe, help my unbelief." The truth is, I need faith.

Unlike that father, I have no doubt that God has the ability to heal my son. I would never say "If you can" to the God who created the universe. Seriously, if God is able to speak the world into existence, perform all of the miracles that are in the scripture, raise Jesus from the dead, and form the brilliant plan of redemption, my son's condition would be no challenge for Him at all. However, do I have the level of faith I need?

After the account of Jesus casting the demon out of the man's son, we are given privy into a private conversation between Jesus and His disciples in Mark 9:28-29.

When He came into the house, His disciples began questioning Him privately, "Why could we not drive it out?"  (29)  And He said to them, "This kind cannot come out by anything but prayer."

Prayer? Really? Why didn't the disciples think of that? I doubt that the disciples were not appealing to God to heal the boy. I also doubt that there were magic words that the disciples were just not saying correctly. The key to healing was not some kind of mixture of words and special ingredients. Matthew's account of the same story gives us the answer.

Matthew 17:19-20  Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not drive it out?"  (20)  And He *said to them, "Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.

Not only the father, but the disciples were also limited in their faith. Not only does Jesus tell them so, He gives the scope of their lack of faith.

Have you ever thought about how much faith Jesus had when He walked the earth? I guess you couldn't call it faith by the Hebrews 1:1 definition, because faith is the "evidence of things not seen" and Jesus had seen Heaven and the Father. But even still, if the disciples (and by extension, I) had just a sliver of the faith of Jesus, a slice the size of the tiniest of seeds, all things would be possible.

This is where using Hebrews 11:1 as a complete definition of faith falls short. The Bible is clear that there are varying levels of faith. For example, notice the contrast between a Roman centurion and the sisters Martha and Mary:

John 11:21  Martha then said to Jesus, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.

John 11:32  Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died."

Matthew 8:5-13  And when Jesus entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, imploring Him,  (6)  and saying, "Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, fearfully tormented."  (7)  Jesus *said to him, "I will come and heal him."  (8)  But the centurion said, "Lord, I am not worthy for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed.  (9)  "For I also am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, 'Go!' and he goes, and to another, 'Come!' and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this!' and he does it."  (10)  Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled and said to those who were following, "Truly I say to you, I have not found such great faith with anyone in Israel… (13) And Jesus said to the centurion, "Go; it shall be done for you as you have believed." And the servant was healed that very moment.

Both Martha and Mary say the exact same phrase. They both see Jesus' power as being limited by distance. In contrast, the Roman centurion (who was most assuredly a gentile) does not see such limits to the power of Jesus. To which, Jesus stated that the man had more faith than anyone in Israel.

There are varying levels of faith among Christians. Yes, we can pray for God's assistance, but it is our responsibility to give the effort to grow our own faith. The level of our faith matters, not just so that God would be more likely to answer our prayers, but our salvation is dependent upon our faith.

I have no idea how God will answer my prayers. I do know what my actions have been like over the past five months. I have spoken of my son's funeral as being certain and imminent. To be honest, although I know God can heal my son, I have had strong doubts that He will. All of the evidence that we have been given is pointing to my son's death. If there is anything I have learned from this time, I have learned that my faith is not where I want it to be. It is time for me to get busy doing things to increase my faith. My prayer is like the father who said, "I do believe, help my unbelief."

I appreciate everyone who has been praying for my family. Thank you who have been praying for my son to be healed. Thank you to the ones who have been praying that we get time with our son. Thank you to everyone who has been praying that the delivery be safe for Megan. Thank you to everyone who has been praying that we get a beautiful and joyful time with our son. Please continue in all of those for us. My specific request of you today is that you pray for us the same thing that the apostles asked of Jesus in Luke 17:5 when they said "Increase our faith."