While I never expected to join David in the "dad's with deceased children" club, no one could imagine I would join him in the exclusive club of fathers who are told "the child that is born to you shall surely die" (2 Samuel 12.14b). (If you are not familiar with David's story, I suggest reading 2 Samuel 11 & 12. It says it far better than any attempt for me to summarize it.)
It was after 10:00pm on January 6th, 2014 when Megan and I were sitting in a triage room at the hospital, waiting for our doctor to come tell us the results from our second ultrasound that evening. We had the college football national championship game on in the background as our imaginations were running wild with different possibilities of what the doctor might tell us. We had never heard the word "Anencephaly" before. Our doctor tried to explain to us what it meant. For clarity purposes, Megan asked "so our son never developed a brain and he will probably die?" To which the doctor replied, "Yes to everything except the 'probably' part. Anencephaly is not compatible with life outside the womb."
Both David and I were told with certainty that our children will die. While I was told by a reputable doctor, David was told by a prophet of God. Doctors can make mistakes, God does not. Survival and complete healing of an Anencephaly baby is unprecedented, David's situation was truly impossible. However, David responded by doing something inspiring: he prayed. Immediately after informing the reader that the child was struck with sickness, the text says "David therefore inquired of God for the child" (2 Samuel 12.16). Not only did David pray, he fasted and spent the night laying on the ground. Later in verse 22, David tells us his thought process: "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who knows, the LORD may be gracious to me, that the child may live.'" In a hopeless situation, David found hope in a merciful and compassionate God. God had the ability to change His mind. David knew God answers the prayers of His children. The text leads us to believe that David fervently prayed for seven days that God might spare his son.
This is where I am right now. David knew of his son's imminent death for seven days, I have known about my son's condition for slightly less than five months. We are three days past his due date and he will likely be born within the next week. Our doctor is suggesting we induce labor by no later than next weekend if he does not come on his own before then. I am toward the end of a period of waiting to see how God will answer my prayers.
Just like Paul and Jesus (as mentioned in my previous post), God answered David's prayer with a "no". God did not relent his punishment and the child died. It is very possible that God will give me the same answer. To me, the most inspiring section of 2 Samuel 12 is when it describes David's response to the death of his son.
Then it happened on the seventh day that the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, "Behold, while the child was still alive, we spoke to him and he did not listen to our voice. How then can we tell him that the child is dead, since he might do himself harm!" (19) But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David perceived that the child was dead; so David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?" And they said, "He is dead." (20) So David arose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he came into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he came to his own house, and when he requested, they set food before him and he ate. (2 Samuel 12:18-20)
The order in which David acted was obviously planned ahead of time. After not eating for a while, it doesn't seem like a spur of the moment to make a decision to continue forgoing food. There was, at some point, a time when David made a decision how he was going to react to the news that his son has died. He had decided how he would react. I can picture David, laying on the flood with a tear stained face, planning out each possible scenario. If God spared his son, David would immediately worship God. If the child dies, David would immediately worship God. David's response puzzled his servants.
"Then his servants said to him, "What is this thing that you have done? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept; but when the child died, you arose and ate food." He said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who knows, the LORD may be gracious to me, that the child may live.' But now he has died; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me." (2 Samuel 12:21-23).
As a grieving father, I cannot for a single second believe that David stopping loving or missing his son. I am sure David thought of that child often for the rest of his life. I am sure it was especially difficult for David because he carried the guilt of knowing that he was responsible for the child's death. His sin caused the child to die. Thankfully, I do not carry that weight on my conscience.
Something that comforts me is to see David's faith in Heaven. David knew he would see his son once again. Although some may claim that the doctrine of "Heaven and Hell" is only in the New Testament, we have solid evidence that the faithful children of God have always believed in the afterlife where we would join the faithful who go on before us. As Paul explains, Christians do "not grieve as do the rest who have no hope" (1 Thess 4.13). Like David, I know that I have the opportunity to join my son in heaven forever. This does not mean that I will not grieve for my son, but that I do not have to grieve like those who have no hope.
Hope. Hope is an amazing thing. Please consider this last passage:
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, (2) through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. (3) And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; (4) and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; (5) and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:1-5
Hope does not disappoint when it is built around faith in God. If you are reading this and wondering at how I can move forward, it is because I have faith. I can live and worship God because I know that Heaven is just ahead. If you are not living a life of faith and do not have confidence in your salvation, please feel free to contact me.
seththepreacher@gmail.com
No comments:
Post a Comment