As I Lowered His Casket

Yesterday, I lowered my son's casket into the cold ground. My precious boy, Joses Andrew McDonald was still-born on June 17th, 2014. As I lowered his tiny casket, I contemplated the subject of death. If you would, please be patient with me as I share some things that are vitally important to me and should be important to you as well. The Bible discusses four different kinds of death.

Death brought by Mortality

The first one is glaring upon me today. My son is dead. There is no sign of life in his tiny body. Everyone is going to die someday. It comes sooner to some than others, but as Hebrews 9:27 teaches "it is appointed for man to die once." Death will happen to us all. We grieve especially hard when life is cut short, or as in our son's case, before life even begins. Every single funeral I have ever attended has reminded me of my own mortality. If Jesus does not return first, I will die someday. I do not know when death will come, but I know it will.

Just as Abraham bought a field and a cave in Genesis 23 to "bury [his] dead out of [his] sight," I lowered my son into his grave out of my sight. As Megan and I climbed into our car again without Joses, we could not help but think that we will go the rest of our lives without seeing our son or his precious body again. We drove away and left our son in a grave yard. Death was all around me.

Death brought by Sin

Because of the nature of my son's neural tube defect, I do not know if my son felt any pain just before he died. This is a question I will probably always have. I hope his passing was not painful. One of the most comforting thoughts to me is that my son never had to experience the pain of sin. The word "death" simply means "separation." We normally think of death when a person's spirit has separated from their body. The Bible speaks of a death that is far worse than physical death.

Isaiah 59:2 "But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear."

Joses never had the opportunity to sin nor the separating nature of it. I know my son is with God now because he was never separated from Him. I, however, have sinned. My sin has separated me from God. Sin is the reason Adam and Eve tried to hide themselves from God in the garden. Sin only leads to death. In fact, Romans 6:23 says "the wages of sin is death." Just like at my job, if I work, I deserve to be paid. That is my wage. The Bible teaches that if I sin, I deserve death. This is not just any death, but an eternal separation from God.

Eternal Death

The worst kind of death is the eternal separation from God.

Matthew 10:28  "Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Matthew 25:46  "These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

Revelation 21:8  "But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."

2 Thessalonians 1:9-10  These will pay the penalty of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His power,  (10)  when He comes to be glorified in His saints on that day, and to be marveled at among all who have believed--for our testimony to you was believed.

The thought of being eternally separated from any and all good is a thought that is almost too terrible to contemplate. But here I am, today, thinking about death. I want to do everything I can to avoid such a terrible place. A place of both eternal darkness and unquenchable fire.

Death to Sin

Thankfully, Jesus came to earth to save me from my sin. Only by His mercy and grace could I ever be saved. The apostle Paul goes into a great discussion about this topic in the sixth chapter of Romans. In the context of this chapter, Paul was answering some Christians who, evidently, were believing that they were free to sin all they wanted because God's grace would cover it all. He then talks about being "dead to sin."

Romans 6:1-7  What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?  (2)  May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?  (3)  Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death?  (4)  Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.  (5)  For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection,  (6)  knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin;  (7)  for he who has died is freed from sin.

Once a person symbolically dies with Christ in baptism, he is raised up out of the water like Christ was raised from the dead. That new Christian walks in a "newness of life." That old body of sin should be done away with.

Romans 6:10-13  For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God.  (11)  Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.  (12)  Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts,  (13)  and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.

Paul commands us to not let sin reign in our mortal bodies. This command was given to Christians in Rome who obviously still had the choice whether or not to let sin reign in their lives. The old man of sin should be dead, but they were digging it up again and playing with it. It is a dangerous game that Paul says will result in an eternal destruction:

Romans 6:16  Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness?

It is my job to present myself as a slave of obedience. This begins by submitting to the call of Jesus and being baptized. Your old life of sin cannot be "killed" without submitting to God in baptism.

Just as the Romans did, Christians today have to make the daily decision not to let sin reign in their lives. I am either going to be a slave of sin (resulting in death) or a slave of obedience (resulting in righteousness). The question is, what are you going to choose today?

Conclusion

I know that my thoughts here might contradict what you believe or have been taught by others. If you have any questions, please email me.

I welcome any feedback. I want to go to Heaven to forever be with God, Jesus, the angels, the faithful, and now my son Joses. I want to avoid Hell. If I am in error on anything you have read, you would be my greatest friend to help me correct myself before it is too late.

Feel free to contact me: seththepreacher@gmail.com

The Reason We Cry

It has been exactly two weeks since we said both hello and goodbye to our son. Megan and I are learning more and more about grief. There may not be any great spiritual truths in this blog post, this is mainly a place where I feel like I can express what we are feeling right now. Perhaps you can get a glimpse how you can assist others who are going through a great loss in their lives.

When we found out Megan was pregnant with our first child, I am sure we were like most naive new parents. My head filled with ideas of things I wanted to do with my child. There were dreams about going to ballgames, plays, Disney World, and the zoo. I looked forward so much to seeing our little one and our dog Philo grow up together. I knew we would sing and have a Bible study together every night. I knew we would try our best to raise our child to love God. I had already dreamed of one day baptizing my child when he or she decided to become a Christian.

We were not supposed to find out the gender of our baby until January 6th, but we decided to surprise our parents for the holidays. We went in early December to "Pregnancy Treasures" in Largo, Florida to have an ultrasound. When she confirmed that we were having a son, that is when the ideas became more solid in my mind. We decided for certain in that parking lot that his name would be Joses Andrew McDonald. Thoughts of Joses learning to walk, run, hit a ball, ride a bicycle, start a campfire without matches, drive a car, preach a sermon, and so many other dreams rushed through my mind. Though I could not plan his life out completely, I was so excited for all of the new experiences I would have teaching my son new things.

Less than a month later, we found out that Joses had a neural tube defect called Anencephaly. That night, we cried harder than we ever had before. My eyes had never throbbed in such a way. All of those dreams were crushed. My son would never call me "daddy." He would never walk, crawl, or even cry. If my son were born alive, he would be blind and deaf. My heart was aching because of the many things that my son would never experience.

Now things are different. My son is dead. We still cry. Our eyes have once again throbbed from crying so much. But there is a major difference. After meeting my son, it was obvious that his body was not made for this world. Those dreams of mine for my son were never his to be had. Now that I have met my son, it is hard to imagine him playing golf on a Saturday afternoon. No, he had his own purpose. Our little "son of consolation" (Acts 4:36 KJV) was meant to encourage us and touch so many lives in ways we had never dreamed. Joses was special and served a special purpose that he was always meant to fill. He was not built in order witness the simpler beauty of this life, but to go on to the next. I no longer cry for my lost dreams for the son I wanted to have. Those dreams are meant for other children for another time, but they were never meant for Joses.

 

Now I cry for a different reason. My tears have come every day because I miss the son I did have. His kissable cheeks, his perfect fingers and toes, and his long black hair are what I think about now. I crave being able to hold him again. Those few hours we held him passed by so quickly.

Yes, we are grateful that our son is in a better place now. It is unbelievably comforting to know that Joses is being cared for by the almighty God. Thankfully, we do not grieve like those who have no hope, but it doesn't mean we do not grieve. I will see him again one day, but for now, my heart is broken. I miss my boy.